A Yogic Perspective on Yoga and Friendship
~ Dedicated to my friend Dan.
Last summer, a cherished friend of mine triggered a thought, requesting me to write on the concept of 'yoga friendship'. I always value such thought-provoking prompts and make it a point to reflect upon them. So, in the spirit of being responsive, I took up the task, making use of the opportunity that presented itself to reflect upon 'friendship yoga'. However, the challenge was to articulate the complex emotions that friendship evokes in me. The past 10 months were spent grappling with this, constantly revisiting my understanding of friendship, and how it mirrors my innermost self.
Finally, today, my thoughts and visions found an outlet, reminding me that even the most complicated ideas are essentially simple at their core. Now, how does one define a friend? The Merriam-Webster dictionary defines a friend as, "One attached to another by affection or esteem." Yet, this straightforward definition leaves so much room for interpretation, and therefore, potential confusion.
Before delving deeper into what a friend is, I found it helpful to ascertain what a friend is not, drawing from my personal experiences. Someone who judges or uses you for their benefit is not a friend. A person who emotionally blackmails or abandons you in times of despair is not your friend. These actions, in fact, contradict the Yama's of yoga – the ethical guidelines that advocate discipline and accountability in life.
Five Yamas’ of yoga:
Ahimsa ~ Nonviolence
Satya ~ Truthfulness
Asteya ~ Non-stealing
Brahmacharya ~ Moderation
Aparigraha ~ Non-possessiveness
We often find ourselves in relationships that do not embody the true essence of 'friend centered' yoga. Reflecting upon your own experiences and keeping these guidelines in mind can assist you in attracting genuine friendships. We all, at one point or another, have been guilty of being less than perfect friends, and have suffered the same treatment in return. However, acknowledging these lapses and understanding the damage they cause can result in cultivating deeper, more meaningful friendships.
In the common vernacular, we often loosely toss around words like love, friendship, peace, freedom, greed, and anger. If we could become more conscious in our use of language, we could perhaps cultivate deeper connections. Now, think about all the people you interact with – family, neighbors, colleagues, social media connections, etc. How many of these people can you truly call your friends? It is essential to recognize and weed out those who are not beneficial to your well-being.
Who, then, can we call a true friend among the remaining ones? A true friend, like love, resonates with our soul. An honest friendship is not swayed by mistakes or hardships; it sees beyond them. It is a friendship that transcends physical boundaries and time, characterized by loving kindness and well wishes.
When I connect with my true friends, I feel at peace and a sense of belonging. This, indeed, requires no explanation. What we need to do is to let go of our mind's control and feel the truth with our heart and soul.
Yoga with a friend allows you to discern the essence of friendship from within. Even when a friend pushes us away during their tough times, a true friend understands their need for space. We give them the room they need but never abandon them in our hearts. This is the art of friendship, a dance of soul energies navigating through life’s trials and tribulations.
We also need to recognize and appreciate those in our lives who might not be our friends but still play a significant role. People we interact with occasionally, like co-workers, teammates, colleagues, etc., add value to our lives, often being replaced by new ones, giving life a dynamic feel.
In times of profound loneliness, I've learned to become my own friend through yoga. I find solace in prayer, yoga, nature, books, and music. It is during these times that I've realized the importance of having people in my life who make me feel whole and complete. If you are looking to join Yoga classes with a friend, Click here!
As we begin to cultivate self-love and open our hearts to others, we realize that we are not alone. We recognize the few soul friends who have been there from the beginning. The solid rocks that remain after the stormy waters of life have washed away everything else. These are the true jewels in our lives. Once we open our hearts to them, we understand the simplicity of the definition of a friend – "One attached to another by affection or esteem." It's that simple yet profound. After all, isn't the idea of 'yoga and friendship' just that?
Love, Rachel
Founder of Yoga Soul, Licensed Massage Therapist, Founder of NewAgeAthlete.com, Owner of Centered City Yoga. Rachel continuously inspires others to learn what it truly means to live a fulfilling life of joy. Her greatest gift is her son Canyon, he inspires her own deepest love and strength. Her lyrical and purposeful classes carry the intention for others to find their own inner beauty and strength, and to connect with their infinite potential. Her students develop the courage and love, on and off the mat, to manifest their dreams and live a beautiful life. This is all while becoming healthy and strong in body, mind and soul.Rachel is registered with the Yoga Alliance as a 500-hour E-RYT. She holds a B.S. in exercise sport science from the University of Utah. She integrates yogic philosophy into her other life passions as an elite runner, cyclist and endurance coach. She is a certified Pilates instructor and licensed massage therapist.